Books!

I have a pretty extensive library. In my mind, it's divided into basically four sections: fiction, non-fiction read, non-fiction unread, and non-fiction pre-conversion. The fiction books are ones that I like to read to unwind and have time to free think. I don't turn my brain off during these books, but I get to analyze the books the way that I want to rather than how school would want me to. It's enjoyable for me to fill in the spaces between the lines with whatever I want: worldview, Biblical comparisons, or moral lessons. I find this one of the most enjoyable pastimes.

Non-fiction make up the most of my library and all of them are either theology books, devotionals or my Bible. I read these most of all and I love them. Anything to paint the gospel in such a great light, often from different angles so that I can see the glorious sides that I may have missed. I love to read about how the gospel should affect the rest of our lives: morals, relationships, and world views. I have built my knowledge quite well, and I am trying to apply it to my life. Unfortunately, my head far exceeds my heart in this area. I am grateful that Christ has shown me this and is gracious to me to allow me to continue to pursue Him.

My non-fiction is split into read and unread like most, but I also have the category of pre-conversion. This list consists of all the theology books I read before Christ came into my life and changed my heart. Sadly, I can't remember what great truths these books share, so I am dedicated to re-reading them. My current reading is "The Gospel for Real Life" by Jerry Bridges. Pretty much any book with the gospel as it's centerpiece is worth reading.

Most of the time when I read one of these books, there are several things that just slap me in the face and remind me of how much of a sinner I am (which just makes God's grace and mercy that much more glorious). I want to share some of these face-slaps from this book:

"Every day we sin, both consciously and unconsciously, both willfully and unintentionally. We evangelical believers generally abstain from the grosser sins of society; in fact, we tend to sit in judgment of those who practice such things. But beneath the surface of our own lives we tolerate all kinds of 'refined' sins such as selfishness, covetousness, pride, resentment, envy, jealousy, self-righteousness, and a critical spirit towards others."

He goes on to talk about the greatest commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" (Matthew 22:37). Going deeper, he provides a list of different aspects of this command:

"1. Your love for God transcends all other desires (Ex. 20:3)
2. Like David, you long to gaze upon His beauty and seek fellowship with Him (Ps. 27:4)
3. You rejoice in meditating on His Word, and, like Jesus, you rise early to pray (Ps. 119:97, Mark 1:35)
4. You always delight to do His will, regardless of how difficult it may ve (Ps. 40:8)
5. A regard for His glory governs and motivates everything you do - your eating and drinking, your working and playing, your buying and selling, your reading and speaking - and, dare I mention it, even your driving (1 Cor. 10:31)
6. You are never discouraged or frustrated by adverse circumstances because you are confident God is working all things together for you good (Romans 8:28)
7. You recognize His sovereignty in every event of your life and consequently receive both success and failure from His hand (1 Sam. 2:7; Ps. 75:6-7)
8. You are always content because you know He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)
9. The first petition in the Lord's Prayer, "hallowed be your name," is the most important prayer you pray (Matt. 6:9)"

Another list was written about the second greatest commandment (Love your neighbor as yourself), but I felt that this one was hefty enough for now. Pay attention to how absolute the commands are. It unveils our failure to this command in every way. It makes me so glad to know that Christ lived 33 years on this earth without sinning and with fulfilling all righteousness, so that in the great substitution we would be credited with his perfect life. Through this substitution, Jesus was credited with all of our failures and took on God's wrath. This is true love. This is what John was talking about in 1 John 4:8 when he said "God is love."

I am so thankful for this gospel and for authors that love to write about it. However, though these books are great, they can never replace the original. The Bible is the best, most important book in the world. Books written about the Bible are great and they can help us understand some parts, but they are not directly inspired by God. This word is God-breathed (2 Timothy 3:16) as well as alive and active (Hebrews 4:12). It is our bread and our water. Don't try to live without consuming what's necessary for life!

Xmas in Jboro

Awhile back my quad (Jeffrey, Jonathan, Aaron and myself) took the girls quad (Kristi, Alesha, Leah, and Molly) to buy decorations for both of our rooms. I love pretty much every time of year; spring, summer, fall, winter. There's something great and different about each one. For winter, it's obviously Christmas! The whole feel of Christmas is great; decorations, movies, the 25 days of Christmas, being with friends and family, and most of all celebrating Christ's birth!

Our quad went all out. We actually decorated before Thanksgiving because we leave the 15th for break, so we wanted to have it up long enough to appreciate it.



Joy to the World - we were proud of this riggin!









My gnome Otty (shout out to Megan) dressed for the occasion and our candy-dispensing, movie-watching M&M's. Also our Christmas tree and yes, that is Ziggy dressed as Santa.







Jonathan modeling for ladies under the mistletoe.


Aaron and Jeff's Gingerbread city






The park (left) and a church (right). The roof looks awesome!






Aaron's work







ASU Clocktower


Possibly the most annoying contraption on the planet, but it sings Christmas music and dances, so it's awesome.


You can't have Christmas without the music!



This poster is the most beloved of our decor. On the left is Grant's spiderman stocking that I bought him and on the right is my batman stocking. Both are wins in my book.


Our stash for the cold days when we don't feel like going out.


This is of course the most important part of Christmas: celebrating Christ's birth. Rejoicing that God the Son humbled himself to become like us in order to save us. This is true humility. It is the reason to live. Without Christ nothing else matters. I love Christmas, but if Christ wasn't apart of it, then we would celebrate in vain. If Christ had not come we would still be enemies of God and the target for His holy, just fury. Thankfully, Jesus loved us so much (without us deserving) to come and take the wrath for his Father's glory. This is the reason to celebrate! God has just given us these other things as blessings. He is the ultimate gift. Merry CHRISTmas!

The Wisdom of Gandalf the Grey

School is school. Sometimes I like it, but other times I really don't. Sometimes when I don't (especially when studying), I like to take breaks and give my brain a chance to rest. So I read.

I have always been a big reader. I liked mostly fantasy as a kid, but growing up I like to read all kinds of things; novels, blogs, history, etc. Most of the books I brought with me were theological books. But sometimes I just want to read some fantasy and enjoy the imagination of others.

When I was last home, I made sure to grab The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. I haven't read all of them and I love the story, so I decided to from the beginning. When I read (even when it's for pleasure and to rest), I tend to analize things. I think about what the author says and I compare and contrast to world views and beliefs (mainly Christian). Today I was reading the second chapter of The Fellowship of the Ring and something stood out to me.

"'There is only one way: to find the Cracks of Doom in the depths of Orodruin, the Fire-mountain, and cast the Ring in there, if you really wish to destroy it, to put it beyond the grasp of the Enemy for ever.'

'I do really wish to destroy it!' cried Frodo. 'Or, well to have it destroyed. I am not made for perilous quests. I wish I had never seen the Ring! Why did it come to me? Why was I chosen?

'Such questions cannot be answered,' said Gandalf. 'You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.'

'But I have so little of any of these things! You are wise and powerful. Will you not take the Ring?

'No!' cried Gandalf, springing to his feet. 'With that power I should have power too great and terrible. And over me the Ring would gain a power still greater and more deadly.' His eyes flashed and his face was lit as by a fire within. 'Do not tempt me! For I do not wish to become like the Dark Lord himself. Yet the way of the Ring to my heart is by pity, pity for weakness and the desire of strength to do good. Do not tempt me! I date not take it, not even to keep it safe, unused. The wish to wield it would be too great for my strength. I shall have such a need of it. Great perils lie before me.'"


Most of that is just context for the last paragraph. When I read Gandalf's response to being offered the ring, I was struck by his passion and fear of giving in to temptation. He is scared of what would happen if he gives in and takes the Ring. That got me thinking about my response to my sin.

I wondered about the response to temptation in this life. My reaction to sin and temptation (more often than not) is that it's not that serious; especially the "respectable sins." They're common. Everyone does them. Surely they aren't that serious.

In Matthew 5, Jesus shows people their sinfulness, not through there sinful actions, but through their sinful thoughts. He one-ups the view of sin by taking what they knew about it through the law and showing them that their hearts are corrupt. Even those "little sins" (those "little thoughts") are sins that issue us a one-way ticket to Hell.

Sin should scare us. Consider this line: "Yet the way of the Ring to my heart is by pity, pity for weakness and the desire of strength to do good." Sin affects us in our weakest areas and just spreads around. It's seductive. One thing that Gandalf does here, that I wish I could apply more, is that he identifies the lie that sin tells him. Sin tells us that what we are doing is right, when it is clearly wrong. Or it tells us that it is better than what Jesus promises. And it all leads to destruction. This should make us react fearful of sins affects and defensively as Gandalf did.

But there is a remedy to both our fear and our sin: the cross of Christ. Christ died to bear the punishment for our sins. We will not experience the lasting, condemning affects of sin in our lives. Christ has paid that price. We no longer have to.

And because of that we no longer have to be fearful. Jesus has given us the power to fight sin. We don't have to fear anymore, because we can fight it. Why can we fight it? Because Jesus has destroyed it already. This is the great hope of the gospel! We live no longer in fear, but in hope! We no longer are dead, but alive! We no longer fight in vain, but trust in God's grace!

The Fall

Right now I'm going through three books of the Bible: Genesis, Matthew and Romans. I alternate chapters so that I can get into different parts of the Bible while actually studying it, rather than just reading it. My Reformation Study Bible has been very helpful in explaining difficult passages.

Today I am reading in Genesis 3. Between the beginning of Genesis and Romans, I've been getting a lot on the sinfulness of man and condemnation that follows. It's been very sobering and good to reflect on my sin the way God sees it. Verse 6 says:

"So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate."

Here are some of the notes that I have in my Bible:

"tree...wise - Her decision was based on practical values, aesthetic appreciation, and intellectual gratification."

"took of its fruit - By this act, she sealed an alliance with the prince of death and darkness. God's loving election and plan of redemption are her only hope."

Notice that this isn't said of "and ate" it is said of "she took the fruit." If we intend to sin, we have allied with the devil. Sin doesn't start with an action. It starts with our heart, thoughts and intensions. Eve first sinned when she commit to sin, not when she committed the sin. Her heart desired the forbidden, even if she hadn't eaten yet.

"he ate - Man becomes a rebel: surrounded with sufficient motives to trust and obey God, he chooses disobedience against God (6:5, 8:21). Salvation depends entirely upon the Lord, not the rebel. By God's appointment Adam represented the race as its federal head and brought death upon all (Romans 5:12-19). He also represents, as a model and prototype, mankind's hostility against God.

I want to dwell on these things to get an accurate view of myself. Too often sin is not serious to us. Gossip is normal, prideful thoughts are expected (after all you're only human), and anger is the fault of others. There is no excuse. Yes we are human and we do sin, but this reality isn't supposed to make us think that certain sins ("little sins" or "respectable sins") are alright. It's supposed to make us turn and run to God because He is the only one who can save us from those sins.

Those thoughts and intents have condemned us to hell, but Christ has saved us! He has taken the punishment for those sins and now we can run to the Father. We are no longer under condemnation. We are under Christ's blood, which has the power over our sins. And he has given us this power. He has promised us his Spirit and that he would never leave us or forsake us. He can help fight those "little sins" that have cause so much damage. He already destroyed them on the cross! They have no power! Christ has the ultimate power! This should give us joy!

Word of God

I have been reading through "Desiring God" by John Piper. The whole point of the book is for us to view our Christian life as Hedonistic. Hedonism means to pursue your own happiness. Most Christians would say that we are not to do this but we should seek to glorify God. Piper argues that we are to pursue our joy (which isn't necessarily the same as happiness) by asking God to change our desires to want to glorify Him. Obeying God is the only way we will have true joy.

I have come to a chapter called "Scripture: Kindling for Christian Hedonism" and this quote stuck out to me:

"Satan's number-one objective is to destroy our joy of faith. We have one offensive weapon: the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17). But what many Christians fail to realize is that we can't draw the sword from someone else's scabbard. If we don't wear it, we can't wield it. If the Word of God does not abide in us (John 15:7), we will reach for it in vain when the enemy strikes. But if we do wear it, if if lives within us, what mighty warriors we can be!"

When I read this, a couple thoughts came to me. First, that it is foolish for someone to go into battle without a sword. We can't expect to fight against sin without anything to fight with. Sin will win every time and very easily.

Second, was that a sword must always be kept up. It must be cleaned after every battle; polished and always kept in the best condition. Battles occur often, and the sword must be tended to even more so. This doesn't mean that we fix any problems in the Bible (by the way, there aren't any), but that we keep up our knowledge of them. Memorization and meditation is key to fighting against sin. Memorizing it keeps it in your mind and helps you to always have your sword with you. Even if you don't have the hard copy, it's still just as effective.

Third, you have to know how to use a sword. You would grab the blade and swing the handle around, otherwise you will cut yourself. So it is with the Bible. We can't throw verses around flippantly if we don't know what the context is, or what it is really saying. This is where meditation comes in. Meditating (on your already memorized scripture) helps you understand your weapon. It shows you how to use it so that you know the moves to use on different enemies. Don't fool yourself or condemn others because you assume on the scriptures. Know what they say, then live by them.

The Word of God is just that; God speaking to us. We need to listen. It's the only thing worth listening to. And it should give us joy to hear God speak. Honor Him and reap joy for yourself by knowing and understanding His Word. It's useless otherwise.

Just As I Am

Just as I am, without one plea
But that thy blood was shed for me,
And that thou bidd’st me come to thee,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind,
Sight, riches, healing of the mind
Yea, all I need in thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am! Thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am! Thy love unknown
Has broken ev’ry barrier down;
Now, to be thine, yea, thine alone,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

- Charlotte Elliot

Reflecting on the Pastoral Position

"Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish every one with tears."
-Acts 20:28-31

"So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when tthe chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen."
-1 Peter 5:1-11

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” This figure of speech Jesus used with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them.

So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.

And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd.

For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”
-John 10:1-18

Meditate on the role of your pastor. Think about how much responsibility he has in the lives of others. He experiences the highest joys of his flock's lives and the lowest griefs when they are in trial and sin. Next time you see your pastor, thank them for their sacrifice and ministry. It is a very heavy responsibility, but one that (and I'm sure they'd tell you this) they gladly take on to serve both God and His people.

"Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness."
-James 3:1